Wendy J. Leger

I'd like to divide my testimony into 3 parts by answering 3 questions for you:

(1) What? (what was my rocky road?)
(2) So What? (happened when Jesus joined me on that road?)
(3) Now What? (what road am I on now?)
*** (What? So What? Now What?) ***
I plan to spend more time answering the "So What?" and the "Now What?" because my testimony would not be a testimony worth sharing if Jesus had not "shown up"!

I. What?

Well, @ !st, the road was not very rocky @ all, esp when @ age 9, I prayed the salvation prayer. I asked Jesus to forgive me for my sins, I was baptized and joined this church. (I thank the Lord for His gift of salvation at such an early age). However, I had salvation with no relationship...

During those critical teenage yrs., I found myself headed toward a very rocky road, until eventually, I found myself on the rocky road, of the gay lifestyle. Unfortunately, for 15 years, that was the rocky road I traveled, and it BECAME my life! I was fully convinced that this was who I was suppose to be, especially since this is where I received the affirmation, affection, attention and acceptance that I desperately desired.

If you're familiar with the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), then you're already familiar with most of the "what" of my story. Sure, a few things would be different, like: a daughter, instead of a son and oldest versus youngest. But, like the Prodigal Son, I, too, "left home at an early age and set off for distant lands." My journey covered 3 states, thousands of miles, and lasted several years. I was running and I ran as far as I could from my family/friends and mostly, the Lord. Also like the Prodigal Son, this prodigal daughter's search for freedom, love, success, etc. left me feeling empty, alone, ashamed, and most of all, HOMESICK!!!

II. So What?

What happened is the Holy Spirit began to move and Jesus joined me on that rocky road. In fact, I found myself singing this hymn during a particular sad time:

"Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus, He is a friend that's well known.
You've no other such a friend or brother, tell it to Jesus alone."

I had not sang that song in years, believe me, but my soul remembered it because the Lord remembered my prayer of faith at age 9.

In 1996, after years of gentle wooing and in the midst of a very contented relationship, the Lord began to speak to my heart in His still small voice, "You've been in this relationship for 5 years, you're at a crossroads, will you come with Me or stay where you are?" (1st singing, now the Lord is talking to me... :)

Many of you may recognize this quote: "God meets us as we are, yet He loves us too much leave us as we've been". Amen? It was in that perceived "perfect union" that God began to call me out of the gay lifestyle and into a relationship with Him. Thank God He did not leave me there!

Believe it or not, He used the Church, the Body of Christ, the most! Yes, I had started going back to church, Hopevale Baptist Church in Saginaw, MI. I was still in that relationship, yet God began to work like never before! The 1st Sunday I attended, I cried the entire service. All I could think about was how proud my Dad would be to see me there... One Sunday, on the cover of the bulletin, there was a picture of a sailboat with Phil.3:13-14 below it. (read it...) The Lord spoke to me through that vs (still, small voice again...), and He planted a seed of hope about me leaving one life behind and pressing on toward another one. Obviously, I had no idea then how much I would truly be leaving behind and how much "pressing" would be required. I just knew that He was calling me to "forget and move on". But, how??? was still my main question...

One Friday night, in October ‘96, God began to answer my question. After being ill for months, I found myself calling my Mom. In desperation, I surrendered, not fully to God, but to my family (the family that had not stopped praying for me) and pleaded with my Mom to come to Michigan where I was living. I remember saying, "Mom, I need you; I cannot do this anymore, please come!" She arrived at noon the next day and her first words to me, as she looked directly into my eyes, were, "You've got a choice to make...I'm prepared to stay as long as I need to stay b/c your Dad said I cannot come home without you. Wow!!! (Honestly, I think I waited many years for them to say those words to me!) Yet, another crossroads...

However, this time, the choice was clear. Mon. a.m. I quit my job, the next day we packed and then began our journey home to LA. I am so thankful to say, "I finally stopped running away!" I've been home for 8yrs now and I can honestly admit that I am truly content. I've been working for the same agency since I moved home and that fact alone is a testimony in itself!!! :)

Family members, if you know a loved one who asked Jesus into their heart at a young age, as I did, I can tell you with 100% confidence that Hebrews 13:5 is true: "God will not leave them or forsake them." No matter how far we go, He'll be right there, waiting for us to return (just like the Father and Prodigal Son). As you pray for family/friends who need salvation and/or deliverance, please don't give up on them! The hope is that one day soon, your loved one will thank you for your fervent prayers as I have thanked my family. Again, God is faithful and He hears your prayers. Where I am today is primarily due to the power of prayer, especially the prayers of my family.
Dads please KNOW how important your words are to your daughters, esp if you have a daughter struggling with this issue. Your words are priceless jewels to your daughter's ears and it is YOU, Dad, who confirms the femininity in your daughter!!! So, please keep speaking "sweet nothings" to their ears!

After moving home , I began to seek the Lord like never before. I still made mistakes; not walking perfectly, but attempting to follow Him. Even though I was home, I still had to make some significant choices... First, I had to decide what I believed about the Bible.

Despite being raised in a Christian home and in a church that taught the Bible, I didn't want to believe it "word for word." I preferred a "piccadilly" style approach only choosing those verses that fit for me and my lifestyle. I didn't want to believe Romans 1:24-32 or any other verse against homosexuality.

Secondly, I had to decide what I believed about beliefs that are so popular in the world today. You know the ones: "if that's how you feel, then it must be true;" and "you're born that way so you can't change or you shouldn't change." ( I think we can agree that Satan has used these beliefs to cause so much damage to so many.)

So, another crossroads... believe God's Word or Satan's words???

I can honestly admit that reading/studying the Bible for myself has been the most important part of my journey out of the gay lifestyle. And, Praise God, I am "living proof" that those popular beliefs in our world today are indeed all lies!!!

Today, because of God's grace and mercy, I believe His Word - all of it! Not just the verses I like or the ones that make me feel good. I believe the Bible is The Truth and inspired by God. He has shown me the Truth, only found in His Word and I continue to learn it, accept it, and apply it to my life.

I now believe that people can and do change when they begin a personal relationship with Jesus! He has and continues to change the lies that I believed for15 years! I am no longer controlled by those lies or desires; He controls me now. A relationship with Him has changed everything about me and the change is still happening! I may not have long hair or beautiful, long nails but I am a new person. The most noticeable difference is on the inside because I know what I use to think about, how I use to feel, and what I use to do.

I no longer feel or do things connected to those lies because He took them away. He took my desires and gave me His!!! I desire to do His will; I desire to please Him with my life. I have surrendered my feelings for HIM and I will never be happy without Him again. Yes, I may struggle at times with temptations or have weaknesses that need more of His grace, but I am not the same person I was 8 years ago, 5 years ago, 2 years ago, 6 months ago, or even a week ago! He continues to change me and I am so excited about all that He has planned for me! Many of us here cling to the promise of 2Cor 5:17, "If ANYONE is in Christ, he/she is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come."

I truly desire a relationship with Jesus more than anyone else because I've finally found in Him what I spent many lonely years looking for in others! I chose to love Him and serve Him, over my feelings. God's Word states in Proverbs 19:22, that "ALL of us are seeking a love that will never fail." So, if we're ALL seeking it, than it must mean that NONE of us have it and therefore, NONE of us can give it away! But Psalm 63:3-5 says, "since God's love is better than life...my soul will be satisfied." .

I'm learning how to be satisfied with His unfailing love for me, esp. since His love leaves no regrets, no guilt, and no remorse. His love is pure and He's always a gentleman!!! :)
So.................................................................................

111. Now What?

Since I have chosen to follow God versus the deception of Satan found in the form of homosexuality, I am becoming the true woman in Christ that He has always planned for me to become.

The gay lifestyle left me feeling so empty, mostly because I was void of God! I thought it could satisfy me, but God knew (He knows everything!) all along that it would be the very thing that He would use and continues to use today to draw me to Himself!!! Amazing! Only God could take what Satan meant for evil and use it for good!!!

The Lord used the book,"The Purpose Driven Life", to show me that, "the very experiences

I've resented/regretted in my life, the ones I've wanted to hide/forget, are the ones He wants to use to help others. However, I must be willing to share and honestly admit my faults, failures, and fears."

Frank Worthen, considered by many to be the father of ex-gay ministry quotes, "The majority of ex-gays who have received change from Jesus Christ have refused witness to such a change and have melted into the heterosexual society with the hope that their past life will never be exposed. Through such faint-heartedness, the world and a multitude of gay people have never heard the message of change and many have gone to an eternity without Jesus Christ."

Regrettably, many men and women whose lives have been radically changed do fade into the society at-large and into the church, never allowing God to receive the glory from their changed lives. Such has been my story until God began to whisper to me, once again...

Now, He is calling me to share the testimony of my own changed life so that others can see that there is a way out. You don't have to be gay! God is calling me to let go of my pride and my shame, so that I can share the story of God's life-changing power. He has a plan for my life and that plan is not what the world wanted me to believe. He called me out of the lifestyle and now He is calling me to speak out about what He has done in my life. What He has done in me, He desires to do in others. He has put a desire and compassion in my heart for others who struggle as I did. I know where they've been, I've been there, too, and I know how difficult change can be.
Through a Christian organization called Exodus International, God is fulfilling that desire. Exodus is a ministry which promotes the message: "freedom from homosexuality is possible through the power of Jesus Christ!"

I have been affiliated with Exodus for over 2yrs. and recently became an approved, referral therapist joining only one other approved ministry in our state, The Master's Design, in Monroe, LA. However, recently, myself and 2 other ladies (both who are here today),met with staff @ EBBC and according to God's perfect plan, we will be initiating a support group, similiar to the ministry in Monroe, shortly after the beginning of next year!!! Please know we welcome your prayers and your support.

Yes, I am on a different road today and although it may still be "rocky" @ times, Jesus is still on my road. In fact, He's the One leading the way! He's guiding me through the "ups/downs, bumps, twists, and turns" as I strive to do the "next thing" He tells me to do.

God Bless You
Wendy J. Leger

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